Alice, Emmett and Seth Kidnap Mr Sandy Claws
by Oco
Summary: Alice, Emmett are stuck on their revenge plan, When Seth comes up with a brilliant idea. What will happen? read to find out
1. Chapter 1

**Okay i DO NOT own twilight or the nightmare before Christmas.  
if i did, i wouldn't be writing this fan fic thingy :]  
Anyways this is what you get when you watch the nightmare before Christmas,  
and then put the Kidnap Mr Sandy Claus song on your ipod and keep listening to it over and over again_  
anyways i would appreciate reviews because i just would... and i don't really care if this sucks so it's all goo if you say soo

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_**

Alice, Seth and Emmett Kidnap Sandy Claus

Chapter One: Santa Claus Three

~In the Cullen House~  
-Alice is watching Santa Claus Three with Seth, Emmett, Bella, Esme, Jacob and Edward-

Alice: how come Sandy Claus never comes and visits us?  
Seth: I don't know, it's strange.  
Alice: I know right…

-Alice starts crying-

Edward: o.O  
Bella: What's wrong Alice?  
Alice: *sniff* I *sniff* don't *sob* CHRISTMAS PRESENTS *bursts into tears*  
Esme: there there Alice *pats Alice's back*  
Emmett: OH MY GOD SANDY CLAUS JUST BLEW UP THE BAD GUY!  
Edward: O.o  
Bella: o.O  
Jacob: O.o  
Emmett: *bursts into tears* WHY WHY THE BAD GUY!?!?  
Esme: it's okay Emmett I'm sure Santa Claus didn't too  
Emmett: *sob* it's always *sniff* the bad guy *sob*  
Edward: this is too strange I'm going to eat a mountain lion

-Edwards walks off to eat a mountain lion-

Jacob: I'm going to go and play with Nessie later  
Esme: I'll come Jacob

-Jacob and Esme walk off to find Nessie-

Bella: Alice are you okay?  
Alice: *sob* no *sob* presents *tears run down face*  
Bella: I'll take that as a no…  
Bella: how bout you Emmett are you still upset as well?  
Emmett: WHY… WHY ALWAYS THE BAD GUY  
Bella: . How about you Seth do you have any problems  
Seth: yep  
Bella: really  
Seth: yes I think Sandy Claus should go on a diet… *looks thoughtful*  
Bella: O.o Okay…  
Bella: I'm just going to walk away now…

-Bella runs away to an own known place-

Alice: *sniff* everyone *sniff* has *sniff* abandon me *sobs*  
Emmett: WHHHHHHHHHHHY SANDY CLAUS WHHHHY!?!?!  
Seth: maybe the straw diet, that way he won't eat too much

-Carlisle walks into the room-

Carlisle: how are we today my dear adopted children and friend  
Alice and Emmett: I hate Sandy Claus  
Seth: soo true he need to go on a diet doesn't he Pluto  
Carlisle: O.o uuh Seth who is Pluto  
Seth: I don't know…  
Carlisle: oh well I know what will cheer you up  
Alice, Emmett And Seth: What?  
Carlisle: -strikes a weird pose- ICE-CREAM WOO  
Alice:…  
Emmett: Vampires don't actually eat ice-cream  
Seth: ICE-CREAM I WANT ICE-CREAM  
Carlisle: too bad get out of my room, before I burn you all alive *twitches evilly*

-Emmett, Alice, Seth run out screaming-

Carlisle- heh heh


	2. Chapter 2

***laughs evilly*  
I don't own anything except my imagination *wink wink*  
_this chapter was really small, but this isn't going to be a big story so it doesn't matter_**

Chapter Two: An Idea Comes

~Alice, Emmett and Seth have been locked out of the house because of the obession with Mr. Sandy Claws~

Alice: *sniff* why *sob* did they *sniff* kick us out?? *sobs*  
Emmett: why did the bad guy have to die *sobs*  
Seth: it's really pretty outside

-Seth phases into a wolf and runs off chasing bunnys-

Alice: Emmett  
Emmett: Yes Alice?  
Alice: Mr. Sandy Claws has hurt us both inside there *pats where the heart should be*  
Emmett: *tear rolls down his face* don't say it Alice it's to painful  
Alice: I know, that's why we must put a stop to this once and for all!  
Emmett: oh yeah and what are we suppose to do?

-Seth randomly comes back as human Seth-

Seth: why don't you kidnap Mr. Sandy Claws *smiling innocently*  
Alice: OH MY GOD SETH THAT'S A PERFECT IDEA *stands up*  
Emmett: yes we should kidnap Mr. Sandy Claws. For killing the bad guy *stands up next to Alice*  
Alice: yes we will kidnap Mr. Sandy Claws! *evil grin*  
Emmett: MUWAHAHAHA *evil grin*  
Seth: Ooo can I kidnap Mr. Sandy Claws too, I don't want to be left out *smiles innocently*  
Alice: of cause you can Seth you did of cause come up with the idea  
Seth: what are we going to do once we kidnap him?  
Alice: FIRST I'll make him give me all the present I want for all the years I missed out  
Emmett: THEN I'll make him say sorry to the bad buy and beg for his forgiveness  
Seth: AND AFTER THAT I'll make him go on a diet and play fetch with me *grins evilly*  
Alice: yes… yes Mr. Sandy Claws will pay. BUWAHAHAHA *twitches*

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	3. Chapter 3

**i don't own the song :]  
_go on to you-tube and type kidnap Mr. sandy claws and just listening along when the song comes up in here  
anyways i was quite proud i did 3 chapters in one night :]  
reviews if you would be so kind :}_**

Chapter Three: A Musical???

~Alice, Emmett and Seth are in the Attic creating a plan~  
~everyone else (except Leah) is watching TV~

Bella: where's Alice, Seth and Emmett?  
Edward: in the attic  
Bella: oh is that normal?  
Edward: Bella you ask to many questions  
Bella: hmph…  
Esme: no Bella dear it isn't normal for those three to be in the attic  
Carlisle: speaking of them, what are they doing up there?  
Jacob: Seth said something about kidnapping Santa Claus…  
Jasper: so did Alice, something about making him pay

-Emmet, Alice and Seth walking into the room-

Alice: excuse me everyone but we has an announcement  
Jasper: do you now hun?  
Alice: yep now be quite or I'll bite your head off

-everything suddenly goes extremely quiet-

Alice: spot lights please

-room goes all dark and three spotlights are on Alice, Emmett and Seth-  
-Emmet presses play on the CD player-

Alice, Emmett & Seth: _Kidnap Mr. Sandy Claws_  
Emmett: _I wanna do it_  
Seth: _Let's draw straws_  
Alice: _jack said we should work together  
Three of a kind_  
Alice, Emmett & Seth:_ Birds of a feather  
Now and forever  
Wheeee  
La, la, la, la, la  
Kidnap the Sandy Claws, lock him up real tight  
Throw away the key and then  
Turn off all the lights_  
Alice: _First, we're going to set some bait  
Inside a nasty trap and wait  
When he comes a-sniffing we will  
Snap the trap and close the gate_  
Emmett: _Wait! I've got a better plan  
To catch this big red lobster man  
Let's pop him in a boiling pot  
And when he's done we'II butter him up_  
Alice, Emmett & Seth: _Kidnap the Sandy Claws  
Throw him in a box  
Bury him for ninety years  
Then see if he talks_  
Alice: _Then Mr. Oogie Boogie Man  
Can take the whole thing over then  
He'II be so pleased, I do declare  
That he will cook him rare_  
Alice, Emmett & Seth: Wheeee  
Emmett: _I say that we take a cannon  
Aim it at his door  
And then knock three times  
And when he answers  
Sandy Claws will be no more_  
Alice: _You're so stupid, think now  
lf we blow him up to smithereens  
We may lose some pieces  
And then jack will beat us black and green_  
Alice, Emmett & Seth: _Kidnap the Sandy Claws  
Tie him in a bag  
Throw him in the ocean  
Then, see if he is sad_  
Alice & Emmett: _Because Mr. Oogie Boogie is the meanest guy  
around  
lf I were on his Boogie list, I'd get out of town_  
Seth: _He'II be so pleased by our success  
That he'II reward us too, I bet_  
Alice, Emmett & Seth: _Perhaps he'II make his special brew  
Of snake and spider stew  
Ummm!  
We're his little henchmen and  
We take our job with pride  
We do our best to please him  
And stay on his good side_  
Alice: _I wish my cohorts weren't so dumb_  
Seth: _I'm not the dumb one_  
Emmett: _You're no fun_  
Alice: _Shut up_  
Emmett: _Make me_  
Alice: _I've got something, listen now  
This one is real good, you'II see  
We'II send a present to his door  
Upon there'II be a note to read  
Now, in the box we'II wait and hide  
Until his curiosity entices him to look inside_  
Seth: _And then we'II have him  
One, two, three_  
Alice, Emmett & Seth: _Kidnap the Sandy Claws, beat him with a stick  
Lock him up for ninety years, see what  
makes him tick  
Kidnap the Sandy Claws, chop him into bits  
Mr. Oogie Boogie is sure to get his kicks  
Kidnap the Sandy Claws, see what we will see  
Lock him in a cage and then, throw away the  
key_

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	4. Chapter 4

**I have said this so many times but i do not own anything  
Except my brains and wit :]  
anyways i was kinda tired and this is yet another really short chapter :]**

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Chapter Four: Uuh what the heck??

-lights fade back-

Edward: O.o *runs out of the room screaming*  
Bella: O.o uuh what the heck?  
Alice: it's our genius plan to kidnap Mr. Sandy Claws  
Emmett: what do youse think?  
Jasper: oh… my… god… they have gone crazy…  
Emmett: *points at Seth* it was Seth's idea don't blame me!!  
Seth: *smiles innocently* what was my idea?  
Esme: my dear lord… Alice, Seth, Emmett you can't kidnap Mr. Sandy Claws…  
Alice and Emmett: and why not thankyou?  
Carlisle: Esme let me tell them, they may not take it too well  
Esme: it is best you tell them  
Alice: tell us what *raises eyebrow*  
Bella: I'm going to find Edward and comfort him

-Bella goes to comfort Edward-

Jasper: this is going to be interesting *rolls eyes*  
Carlisle: Alice dear Santa Claus isn't real  
Esme: I'm sorry honey but you can't kidnap someone who isn't real  
Alice: uuh yes he is he sent me a warning letter telling me I was a naughty girl  
Emmett: yeah Alice showed me the letter it said he was never going to send her presents…  
Carlisle: show me the letter  
Alice: *hands letter to Carlisle*

(and the letter says:  
To Miss Alice Cullen,  
you have been very naughty of late and I have decided not to give you any presents at all because I hate you and your evil ways, when you were a human you used to set traps to capture me and sometimes I would actually get stuck in them and the would hurt my big red bottom and ever since that you have been on my naughty list. Plus vampires don't get presents cause I'm afraid of them and your one of them.  
Yours Truly Mr. Santa Claus)

Carlisle: uuh I think my whole way of life has changed *sob*  
Esme: it's okay honey, I'll protect from the evil forces of Sir Dance A lot  
Seth: yes Mr. Boo-nana I agree…  
Jasper: O.o  
Emmett: Uuh Seth who are you talking too?  
Seth: oh me and Mr. Boo-nana are having a conversation about cupid  
Alice: who?  
Seth: cupid why?  
Carlisle: this is too much to take *faints*  
Esme: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! *faints*  
Seth: see Mr. Boo-nana I have a strange and weird family I'm the only normal one

-Renesmee walks in the room and sees Carlisle and Esme on the floor-

Renesmee: okay I'm just going to go back to Jacob's house…

-Renesmee disappears into fin air-

Jasper: why is my family so stupid gosh  
Seth: maybe you should ask Mr. Boo-nana, he knows everything *looks thoughtful*  
Jasper: I rather not

-Jasper pats Alice on the head and then walks out of the room-

Alice: I say that we have everyone's support on this mission  
Emmett: I absolutely agree.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five: Mr. Boo-nana and Seth

~In Seth's bedroom~

Seth: HAHA I absolutely agree Mr. Boo-nana  
Mr. Boo-nana: I know right, it's like the completely awesome  
Seth: you remember Leah's Barbies?  
Mr. Boo-nana: yeah they were an ugly bunch weren't they Seth  
Seth: yeah, well remember when I set them on fire *grins evilly*  
Mr. Boo-nana: of cause I do Seth I did of cause suggest that idea  
Seth: *frowns* yeah I got into trouble because of that  
Mr. Boo-nana: yeah… but you didn't get in that much trouble Seth  
Seth: yeah… OH… OH… remember that time we tried to set Leah's hair on fire  
Mr. Boo-nana: Ahhh yeah good times, good times  
Seth: *sigh* I miss those days where we got up to our tom riddle-ley  
Mr. Boo-nana: *sigh* and how no one thought I was really real  
Seth: yeah you were just a "phase" but we showed them  
Mr. Boo-nana: not really they still think your some crazy teenager  
Seth: oh well, we can always set them on fire… *looks thoughtful*  
Mr. Boo-nana: no, the police would yell at you if we did so  
Seth: yeah…

-Seth's mother-dearest Sue knocks on the door-

Sue: Seth dear stop talking to fin air and come and talk to Carlisle  
Seth: MUM I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF PLANNING TOM RIDDLE-LEY  
Sue: see what I mean Carlisle he is completely retarded…  
Carlisle: maybe he is just going through a phase  
Sue: that's what his doctor said when he was five  
Carlisle: oh… is there anything else I should know about?  
Sue: Seth… *sniffs*  
Carlisle: Yes Sue what is it, I don't have all day.  
Sue: why what else are you doing?  
Carlisle: *sigh* Alice and Emmett are trying to kidnap Santa Claus… and Jasper is hooked on speed…  
Sue: oh that's terrible…  
Carlisle: so what was that other problem about Seth you wanted to tell me about?  
Sue: oh right, well Seth he and his "friend" like to set things on fire *looks miserable*  
Carlisle: oh dear, I forget what that was called.  
Sue: what was called?  
Carlisle: the name of thing when someone likes to set things on fire….  
Sue: you say things to much  
Carlisle: I know, it's a disease that has no name.  
Sue: oh, so what should I do about Seth  
Carlisle: nothing *smiles charmingly*  
Sue: eh?  
Carlisle: it's really entertaining watching Seth. And I wouldn't want that entertainment to go away  
Sue: okay then…  
Carlisle: yeppers. Good bye Dearest Sue

-Carlisle disappears into fin air-

Sue: why is my life so difficult…

-Sue walks off to make dinner or something in those forms-

Seth: finally having to be quiet for there conversation was really hard you know  
Mr. Boo-nana: I know Seth but you did an excellent job, and I'm very proud of you.  
Seth: why thank you Mr. Boo-nana, you're the best friend anyone could ever have


	6. Chapter 6

**MUWAHAHAHAHAH  
Ben 10: Alien Force is awsome i just don't watch it :] :]  
do i own anything? no i don't :]  
review if you aren't as lazy as i am**

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Chapter Six: Christmas Eve…

~everyone except non-vampires, Alice and Emmett have gone out hunting~  
~Seth is watching Ben 10: Alien Force~  
~Alice and Emmett are with Seth but finishing there plan~  
~Mr. Boo-nana is now where to be seen, heard or spoken of~

Seth: YOU KILL HIM BEN KICK HIS BUTT!  
Alice: Seth your ament to be helping us, not watching Ben 10…  
Emmett: leave him alone Ben 10: Alien Force is awesome  
Alice: we have to finish making these plans and traps before everyone gets back  
Emmett: okay SETH GET DOW HERE AND HELP US NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW  
Seth: huh?  
Emmett: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW  
Seth: *shrugs shoulders* why don't we just capture him in a box and then set the box on fire  
Alice and Emmett: THAT'S A BRILLANT IDEA!  
Seth: I know that's what me and Mr. Boo-nana did to Leah when I was six  
Alice: I'm not going to ask…

::.:.::Time Gap::.:.::

~Alice, Emmet and Seth have finished preparing there plan and now can relax~  
~Ben 10: Alien Force is over~

Alice: now all we have to do it wait *grins evilly*  
Emmett: do you think Mr. Sandy Claws will for, for our trap?  
Alice: of cause he will Mr. Sandy Claws is dumb…  
Emmett: so true Alice so true…

-Rosalie, Jasper, Bella, Edward and Jacob walk into the room and sit on the floor in front of the TV-

Jacob: wow you ain't trying to capture Santa Claus  
Edward: I believe the correct pronunciation it aren't not ain't  
Jacob: oh Edward shut up!  
Edward: Oh you shut up!  
Jacob: no you shut up *slaps Edward on the face*  
Every one else in the room: *GAAASSSPPSSS*  
Edward: oh no you didn't  
Jacob: oh yes I did  
Edward: *slaps Jacob on the face* take that dog  
Jacob: *punches Edward* you slap like a girl *grins*  
Bella: *kicks Edward and Jacob across the room* WILL YOU TOO STOP FIGHTING FOR ONCE!  
Every one in the room: *GAAASSSPPSSS*  
Jasper: so to change the subject. Carlisle has helped me come off my addiction *looks evil*  
Every one in the room: *GAAASSSPPSSS*  
Jasper: . why does every one do that…  
Rosalie: Emmett come and give me a hug I feel left out

-awkward silence-

Rosalie: IS ANYONE PAYING ANY ATTENTION TO ME

-more awkward silence-

Rosalie: fine I'll just disappear into fin air

-awkward silence once again-

Rosalie: GRrrrrrRRRRrrRRrRrrRRRrRrrrr

-Rosalie disappears into fin air-

Emmett: was someone just talking to us?  
Alice: no, Emmett it was just our imagination


	7. Chapter 7

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i do not own The Nightmare Before Christmas or Twilight

well i had to do something about Jasper's drug addiction.  
and Rosalie hasn't been in the story much soo yeaah

and i forget what i was ament to write in here, cause when i was writing i thought  
about what i was going to write up here but now i forget...  
i'm sorry okay geez haha...

* * *

Chapter Seven: Powered Candy…

~everyone except Rosalie and Seth are watching TV~

Leah: where is Seth?  
Jacob: I have no idea…  
Alice: oh he said something about powered candy.  
Emmett: *grins* that kid is crazy.  
Alice: yeah crazy Seth…

~Rosalie runs in the room screaming at the top of her lungs~

Everyone: O.o O.o  
Jasper: *jumps up* WHAT IS IT ROSALIE! WHAT IS IT!  
Everyone: *sigh*  
Rosalie: *pants* Seth *pants* crack *pants* evil *pants* SAVE ME!  
Emmett: *sigh* Rosalie it's all in your head  
Rosalie: *gasps* it's not, it's not, Seth has gone crazy  
Edward: what has happened?  
Rosalie: I don't know Edward, I walked in Jasper's room and there was Seth and he saw me and started chasing me around the room screaming about stuff that made no sense and then he threw make up at me and I was so afraid  
Jasper: WHAT?!?!?!?!  
Carlisle: what's wrong Jasper?  
Jasper: SETH! GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!  
Carlisle : Jasper… *looks suspicious*  
JASPER: *ignores Carlisle's suspicious look* COME HERE!  
Jacob: Bella what is going on?  
Bella: why would I know Jake…  
Leah: he has probably ate something he shouldn't have

-Seth walks into the room looking crazy and twitching slightly-

Jasper: WHAT DID YOU EAT  
Seth: quack… *giggles* I'm a blue and polka dolka duck  
Jasper: SETH I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!  
Seth: *sniff* I'm fat…  
Jasper: SETH WHAT DID YOU EAT?!?!?!  
Seth: powered candy? Why? Maltese… master chief… doom… *twitches*  
Jasper: oh no…  
Carlisle: what's oh no Jasper?  
Jasper: …  
Carlisle: Jasper???  
Jasper: yes Carlisle?  
Carlisle: you have some explaining to do *puts on his serious face*  
Jasper: uuh…  
Carlisle: Jasper spit it out!  
Jasper: well… *looks away*  
Carlisle: Jasper…  
Jasper: um…  
Carlisle: Jasper I promise not to yell, hit, bite, or attack you in any other way  
Jasper: *sigh* well I didn't actually quit, and well I had a stash and Seth must have fought it was powered candy or sugar or something and well… please don't get mad…  
Bella: aww it's okay Jasper, we forgive you.  
Carlisle: WHAAAAT!!! JASPER!!! *attacks Jasper*  
Edward: Carlisle… *shakes head*  
Carlisle: JASPER YOU PROMISE ME YOU LITTLE LIER *tries to bite off Jasper's arm*  
Jasper: *screams* MY ARM! MY ARM YOU PHYSCO  
Carlisle: *walks away* you should have fought about that before you broke the rules  
Jasper: *sniff* I can't feel my heart beat…  
Alice: there, there Jasper you don't have a heart  
Jasper: *sobs* my stash is gone *burst into tears and runs out of the room*  
Alice: poor Jasper  
Emmett: poor fella he lost his crack.  
Edward: *sighs*  
Bella: EVERYONE GO TO BED!  
Seth: YOUR NOT THE BOSS OF ME *kicks Bella's shin and starts dancing around in circles*  
Bella: HOW DARE YOU! *storms out of the room*  
Edward: *sigh* *chases after Bella*  
Alice: I'll go and find Jasper *walks off to find Jasper*  
Rosalie: come on Emmett lets go to bed *winks*  
Emmett: *sighs* I'm on top bunk  
Rosalie: oh no fair I want to be on top bunk!  
Emmett: to bad Rosie  
Rosalie: *sigh* whatever

~Rosalie and Emmett go to their room~

Esme: Seth… you okay dear?  
Seth:…  
Esme: Seth??  
Seth: *passes out*  
Esme: poor thing must be tired *goes and bakes some brownies*


	8. Chapter 8

**

* * *

**

i don't know Santa and i don't own elves and i don't own the word custard  
and i don't know the nightmare before christmas and i don't own seth and i don't own alice  
and i don't emmett and i don't own seth and i don't own fan fic and i don't own my own house  
and i don't own twilight.

* * *

_BUUUT i did come up with: naming the elf custard, this whole story, clothes, a bike and alot of other stuff.  
_anyways i needed to hurry up and put Sandy Claws in the story and an Elf just cause i need more then one person  
in the chapter. i have a feeling that this chapter sucks and makes no sense but HA!  
that's all i have to say to youse now T.T

Chapter Eight: Mr. Sandy Claws

~Everyone is asleep in their bedroom's except Seth who is still in the lounge room passed out~

-Santa and Custard the Elf walks in-  
Santa: Seth is a good boy I'll give him and present

-Walks into the lounge room to find Seth laying on the floor asleep-

Santa: I wonder what he is doing there  
Custard: he probably tripped over and knocked his head  
Santa: what? I can't hear you  
Custard: *rolls eyes* HE PROBABLU TRIPPED OVER AND KNOCKED HIS HEAD!!!  
Santa: oh you didn't have to yell  
Custard: *mumbles* sure sure

-Seth wakes up-

Seth: *blinks* mummy?  
Custard: *whispers to Santa* oh god his awake  
Seth: Sandy Claws? Is that you?  
Santa: *sarcastic voice* no I'm a giant red lobster  
Seth: IT IS YOU!!  
Custard: great is him, now can we go?  
Santa: no Custard we can't stop being a party pooper!  
Santa: so Seth is there any questions you would like to ask?  
Seth: yes  
Santa: okay what is it  
Seth: why are you so fat?  
Santa: excuse me?  
Seth: you should go on a diet  
Santa: *looks embarrassed* that's kind of personal…  
Seth: you should go on a diet  
Santa: drop it  
Seth: why should I you need to go on a diet? i'm not fat like you... but boy do I have the diet for you!  
Santa: Seth drop it now *looks violent*  
Seth: it's the straw diet, very, very successful I think…  
Santa: that's it I'm going to deliver presents. Goodbye to you Mr. Seth  
Seth: huh?  
Custard: go to sleep Seth…  
Seth: but I don't wanna…  
Custard: *hits Seth in the head with a baseball bat*  
Custard: come on let's go and deliver this present and get out here  
Santa: yes, yes, I know I know

~five minutes later~

Santa: Bloody Alice, bloody Emmett  
Custard: that's why you should look before you walk into the attic  
Santa: well the tree is down there.  
Custard: and???  
Santa: don't worry.


	9. Important Message :

Important (not really)

I can't be bothered to finish this story because I have ran out of my creatativeity (excuse my bad spelling)

Anyways so if you wanted to take my idea or use this story then you can, cause I can't be bothered just tell me in a review that you have taken it, and I will take it down after that.  
you have 12 days until I will take this story down.

Thank you for your time.


End file.
